SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
