Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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