I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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