my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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