He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
