if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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