Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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