is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
