can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
