Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
