i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
