so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
