youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
