i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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