thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
