dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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