I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
