He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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