people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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