dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
