I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
