Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
