i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
