**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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