Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
