How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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