apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
