Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How naked do you want me to be?
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