I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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