I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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