you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
time to smoke my breakfast
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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