Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
