Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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