Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
