is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
