you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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