I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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