I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
