there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
