I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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