Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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