i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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