his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The best revenge is premature balding
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
