i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just found puke in my bra..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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