Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
