lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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