I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i barfeds in our rink
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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