apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is classic penis vs brain.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
