Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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