I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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