the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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