OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
