I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
