Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize