My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We are two peas in an std pod
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
