I smell stomach acid.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
