Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
40s are totally the cure
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
