So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
