I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
