Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
