sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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