and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
