You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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