i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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